15 Ways to Snatch Your Confidence Back and Slay
Last week I went to a local coffee shop here in Nashville and watched every single person walking in looking like they came straight out of a trendy Instagram profile.
Bold mixtures of textures and styles.
Effortlessly slaying at life.
I was like, wait a minute. I'm always the one that's eclectic and unique, but now I don't feel as unique as I used to because everyone else here is unique, too. These people are not allowed to be cooler than me! These Nashvillians don't know me and they don't care. I don't want to be here anymore.
I WANNA GO BACK TO DENVER. NOW.
This reminded me of something I read in a book once that stuck with me. It went kind of like this, from my best recollection in my own words:
"Two people walk into a room full of well-dressed people, whether the scene is professional or artistic."
"One feels inspired. She is interested in getting to know the people that surround her. She feels comfortable and confident in her own skin as she mingles. Her brain tingles as she discovers new facets of different perspectives from her own."
"The other one feels miserable. She might immediately begin to notice things that "she would never" wear or do, with petty disdain. She might feel intimidated — like she doesn't belong, as a sick feeling churns on the inside of her."
At first glance, you might assume this little story is just about two people with two different personalities, but that's not it. It's a narrative to help us recognize moments when we are whole and grounded versus times when part of our internal self is broken and insecure.
We have all taken turns at being one of these characters, whether we're introverts or extroverts.
My goal over the past few years has been to pay attention to my behavior patterns. When I see little triggers or moments of resistance in myself, like I did at the coffee shop last week, I can then compassionately question myself to learn WHY, so that I can heal.
Notice that I wrote, compassionately. Compassion is so important. Feeling insecure isn't a reason to shame ourselves. Not at all. It's simply an indicator that you and I need compassion. Compassion lets us heal and rise again.⠀
If you find yourself feeling lost, insecure, petty, or simply funky, there are 15 practical ways that you can compassionately draw yourself back to a sense of wholeness and the feeling of being inspired again.⠀
1. Go for a walk (anywhere!).⠀
2. Eat some fresh fruit and vegetables. ⠀
4. Sit and watch the clouds or go to a park and find some bugs in the grass to watch.⠀
5. Run as much as you can of 1 mile — go further if you're used to running.⠀
6. Take a break from social media for at least the rest of today, you don't need to announce it or anything. ⠀
7. Read a book outside. ⠀
8. Get a planter, a bag of potting soil, and plant your own herbs. ⠀
10. Drink more water.
11. Smile at a stranger. ⠀
12. Cook something from scratch as you listen to gentle music. ⠀
13. Meet with someone and have a real conversation. ⠀
14. Burn a candle. ⠀
15. Go to the library. ⠀
Just pick 1 or 2 of these actions and comment below to let me know what you're going to do.
The more you and I dig in with compassion to heal and let the hard things in life make us kinder to ourselves and others, the better life gets. The more whole and grounded we are, the more we thrive, the more we can live big instead of small, and the more we're genuinely happy with who we are no matter where we go. That's a whole lot easier to say than to be, but it happens through one small step at a time. ⠀
We can’t afford to run away when it gets hard. Let’s take another step. Let’s snatch our confidence and SLAY. BE YOU BOO.
So, here's to the good things ahead. Let's live it all.