We didn't have time for this (and it was the best part of the trip)

It started with a drink at the bar.

Last week Kelvin and I popped down to Tampa for a quick trip. I was still working online as we traveled and checked into the hotel.

We didn't have much time before the evening event where he was speaking, so we popped into the hotel restaurant. It was almost empty except for a table in the far corner celebrating a birthday.

We pulled up and sat at the bar.

The first thing I noticed was the bartender's energy. She seemed irritated. Frazzled might be a better word (even though the place wasn't busy).

She asked us what we'd like with a forced politeness.

While we looked over the menu, I noticed her working on the most beautiful cocktail so I complimented it. Got another forced response... she said she was just creating something for the Fourth of July menu that weekend, then abruptly left to photograph it.

When she came back, we asked if we could take a photo of it too. She obliged. Kelvin and I both told her how stunning it was.

She shrugged and said she preferred working in the kitchen. She was just filling in at the bar.

"Well," I said, "you have a natural talent for making beautiful drinks."

She didn't receive my compliment at all.

Then Kelvin did what Kelvin does. He asked her a question.

"You said you like the kitchen better — why is that?"

Kelvin has a magical way with people. When he asks them something, they open up and tell their whole life story. In the nxt few minutes we'd hear how she had just moved to Tampa from out of state, was missing her family and grandkids, had been with Hilton Hotels for over 20 years, and culinary arts was her true love.

I told her that becoming multi-dimensional is a gift. Whatever she's learning behind that bar was only going to make her more well-rounded as a culinary artist.

She seemed to actually like that.

Then she pulled out her phone.

She started showing us more drinks she'd been creating... ideas she'd found on TikTok or saw on Pinterest. When we saw the photos we were blown away. This woman was mad talented! We gushed of coursee, and somewhere in the middle of all of it her shell cracked open.

A giant, real smile spread across her face.

Before she went back to rushing around, we asked her what she was going to name the drink. Kelvin threw out an idea "Freedom 'colada" so she handed us a napkin and a pen. "I don't have time to come up with a name, you can do that!"

We scribbled down options and handed the napkin back.

We talked to her so much we couldn't finish our food and had to box it up to make the event on time.

As we were leaving, I said to her, "Hey when someone tells you that you're good at something, just receive it. Just say thank you." I said it teasingly in my "mom tone".

Kelvin followed it up with: "You're clearly amazing at what you do."

She thanked us like she meant it. We left her grinning ear to ear behind that bar.

We never did check the menu to see what they named the drink that weekend. But I like to think they chose one of ours.

There are a few things I learned from that little interaction.

First, understand we're all human. Each of us is going through our own hard things. When someone is in pain internally, they can come off with really "asshole" energy. It's always going to be better to ask questions (get curious) instead of making assumptions or passing judgment. Doesn't mean bad behavior is excused, but most times people just need someone to care, to ask a question, and to really listen.

Second, pause and put your head up to look around. We were in a hurry. Technically, we didn't have time to stop and become friends with the bartender. We'd have missed out on a great moment if we hadn't paused... Pausing and caring is how each of us can brighten someone else's day, and I'm convinced this has a more far-reaching effect than we can really know. Makes me think of the old Ray Boltz song "Thank you", about the lives that someone impacted without ever knowing until he got to heaven. But this wasn't just about us being kind to her, it's also about how she opened up her life to two strangers at the bar that she'd likely never see again, and inviting us to share our ideas for her cocktail.

Also, now I want to know what name you'd give this drink.